I'm A Former Google Executive Who Chased My Future Husband Off The Subway. The Powerful Mindset I Used Can Help You Get Anything You Want.

This as-told-to communicative is based connected a reside pinch Jenny Wood, a erstwhile Google executive who is nan writer of nan newsletter Big Small Things and forthcoming book Wild Courage: Go After What You Want and Get It. At Google, Wood led a ample operations squad that helped thrust billions of dollars successful gross per twelvemonth and started a passion task incorrect nan institution called Own Your Career, which grew into 1 of nan largest occupation betterment programs successful Google's history. Wood lives successful Boulder, Colorado pinch her 2 young children and her husband, Jon.

Image Credit: Tim Gillies. Jenny Wood.

 I moved to New York successful 2008, and I was connected a ngo to meet my husband. I was truthful excited to move from Denver to New York because location are a batch overmuch group successful New York, and I figured I was widening my prospects. At 1 constituent — and my sister talked astir this successful her reside astatine my wedding — I went connected 5 dates successful 24 hours.

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I was truthful driven and operational successful my onslaught that I kept a spreadsheet hunt these first dates. The columns were: name, age, height, time of first contact, summary of our online reside and if nan time was set. On a modular of 1 to three, is he funny? What's my excitement level? I was not messing around. But also, I was sad because I hadn't recovered anybody, and I was 30. I'd astir apt been making emotion pinch excessively overmuch left-brained tenacity — I bladed to deliberation pinch my caput and not my heart.

Image Credit: Courtesy of Jenny Wood. A replica of nan spreadsheet Wood utilized to measurement dates.

"My life changed connected nan crowded, stinky, soiled C connection of nan New York City subway."

My life changed connected nan crowded, stinky, soiled C connection of nan New York City subway. It was January 11, 2011. I retrieve because it was my mom's birthday. There was a blizzard, and I was riding nan subway location from activity aft a rehearsal astatine Google. (I was successful an a capella group called Scalability).

I'm sitting connected nan subway; it's a packed train, and astir 20 feet distant from maine stands this charismatic guy. Gorgeous bluish eyes. Perfectly coiffed 5 o'clock shadow. The afloat works. Even though I wanted to onslaught him, I talked myself retired of it. What if he's a convicted felon? What if he's married? What if I make a fool of myself connected this packed train while 100 group watch? Later, I realized these are 3 classical fears that clasp truthful galore group back: fearfulness of uncertainty, fearfulness of nonaccomplishment and fearfulness of judgment.

I beryllium and do point arsenic nan subway passes extremity aft stop. I'm a bold and assured Google leader connected nan extracurricular but timid and frightened connected nan inside. Yet I'm still drawn to him, and I make a woody pinch myself: If he gets disconnected astatine my stop, 72nd Street, past I'll talk to him. If not, past c'est la vie.

At 59th Street, he picks up his instrumentality and exits nan train. I slump down successful my seat, thinking, Oh, this is truthful frustrating, but that's nan beingness telling maine it wasn't meant to be. At that moment, this activity of chaotic courageousness washes complete maine and pushes maine retired of my subway spot and toward those closing subway doors. No, screw nan universe. I tally disconnected that train and think, I'm going to make my ain damn "meant to be."

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"With zero plan, I pat him connected nan enarthrosis arsenic he exits nan stairs of Columbus Circle."

I pursuit aft him, each disheveled successful my wintertime coat, and return my chapeau disconnected — my hairsbreadth is simply a mess. With zero plan, I pat him connected nan enarthrosis arsenic he exits nan stairs of Columbus Circle, and I say, "Excuse me, I'm sorry to fuss you." "That's okay. You look nice," he says. And I say, "You're wearing gloves, truthful I can't show if you're wearing a wedding ring, but if you're not married, you were connected my subway, and I thought you were cute. Any chance I could springiness you my business card?"

It seems for illustration it takes everlastingly for him to respond, but he takes nan card.

We went connected our first time astatine Dive 75 connected 75th and Columbus connected nan Upper West Side. I knew instantly that I wanted to wed this guy. We sat successful these dense leather chairs pinch arms that created immoderate distance, truthful erstwhile he went to nan barroom to get america beers, I pulled nan chairs closer. That's really giddy I was. My bosom was pounding.

We dated for 3 years, sewage joined and now personification 2 kids, who are 7 and 9.

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"Feeling that activity of chaotic courageousness connected nan subway changed my life."

Feeling that activity of chaotic courageousness connected nan subway changed my life. It inspired maine to move to beryllium an executive astatine Google, to build a occupation programme astatine Google that was utilized by tens of thousands of group successful almost 100 countries and to represent my forthcoming book Wild Courage: Go After What You Want and Get It. That chaotic courageousness tapped into my correct brain, not my adjacent brain. It inspired maine to spell pinch my gut, propulsion beryllium alert to nan upwind and return a calculated consequence that group my afloat life up for success.

Image Credit: Courtesy of Penguin Random House

From that moment, I made a intelligence switch, and truthful overmuch started happening. I started asking for what I wanted astatine work. I sewage promoted. I grew from entry-level to executive, yet helping thrust billions of dollars successful yearly gross for Google. People were impressed pinch my emergence and would recreation to maine for mentorship. Sometimes, mentees would inquire really I roseate to my activity position astatine Google, truthful I started a programme called Own Your Career — a no-nonsense onslaught to getting up professionally.

Mind you, I'd ne'er worked a clip successful HR aliases group operations. For years, I was fundamentally nan COO of various divisions of Google. I've done everything that Fortune 500 execs do. I've hired and fired people, reorged ample divisions, unopen down business units successful 1 information of nan world and built them up successful different and delivered double-digit gross maturation — but I'd ne'er fixed charismatic profession advice. That was not what Google paid maine to do. Nonetheless, I wrote down tips and assembled a training, expecting a 12 group to show up. The programme blew up, becoming 1 of Google's largest occupation programs successful nan company's 26-year history.

I realized I loved coaching group to beryllium amended than they deliberation they tin be. Fast-forward a less years, and nan chaotic courageousness wont continued to work me: I convinced a apical literate supplier to mobility me. I group retired to thief not conscionable tech labour but millions of group worldwide. So, I wrote nan book relationship that would spell Wild Courage. Wild courageousness is astir really to get what you want successful life, whether it's a relationship, extremity aliases promotion. A ample information of it focuses connected nan 9 traits you petition to clasp to get there. The conception titles are "Weird," "Selfish," "Shameless," "Obsessed," "Nosy," "Manipulative," "Brutal," "Reckless" and "Bossy." It's astir reclaiming these labels that create nan bars of an invisible cage that keeps you small.

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"Don't fto fearfulness style your decisions."

I reclaimed those traits connected nan subway that day, and I stopped surviving successful fear: nan fearfulness of personification labeling maine 1 of these traits, arsenic bully arsenic nan fearfulness of uncertainty and failure.

Don't fto fearfulness style your decisions. How often do you debar point because you're frightened of what mightiness happen? How often do you put disconnected asking a customer for what you need? How often do you not inquire your partner for what you want? How often do you not springiness your telephone number to an charismatic personification connected nan subway? I want group to admit that it's not a deficiency of money, accomplishment aliases connections that get successful your measurement — it's you. And that's bully news because it intends you personification agency and powerfulness complete your actions. When you tin push past fear, you tin execute truthful much.

You will ne'er consciousness arsenic purposeful, powerful aliases unrecorded arsenic erstwhile you're pushing past that fearfulness to occurrence connected nan different broadside — because everything you've wanted lives connected nan different broadside of fear, and it's correct location waiting for you.

Preorder Wild Courage: Go After What You Want and Get It here.

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